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View Full Version : My True Story- How Dumb I Was


schizoCuRsEgirl.erghh
12-20-2004, 04:58 PM
my head is full up of memories, most of them useless, but this is something pretty freaky that really happened to me and my mates last winter. we never forgot it. i never forgot how stupid i was. if you want to feel like we felt, i reccommend you turn all lights and noise off and sit in silent darkness while you read this. enjoy...

i used to have a condition called insommia, you've probably heard of it, it means that i had big trouble sleeping, and because of this i had no appetite. in fact that month alone i lost a stone and a half, and i started cutting myself. and as usual i turned to my mates for affection and support, not telling them what was going on until much later, but organising a girly party for my closest female friends, if only to take my mind off it. i didnt invite my guy mates over, i had already arranged to go hang with two of them that weekend. of course, my parents didn't know about my condition, in fact my parents know very little about me, so they invited some friends of their own over that night. the deal was, we had our "party" upstairs while they had theirs downstairs. we were also allowed the third floor, my brother's domain, because as usual he was out getting some random girl pregnant somewhere. now dont get me wrong, i love my parents, they're great people, but i never tell them anything, they're too busy fighting. which is probs why me and my bro turned out so f**ked up. anyway. my parent's pals turned up and while they were getting off their heads drunk, i waited outside the house for my mates to arrive. it was about eight thirty, pitch black but for the stars (i live in a little village in Northumberland- i.e the county of hills, trees, rivers, the odd mountain and nothing else)and very, very cold. i was thinking about taking everyone up to the HaUnTeD HiLl, its like this big hill hidden in the valley and to get there you have to walk about half a mile through two hills a few fields and over a few fences through this really long corn field which climbs quite steeply upwards, and over a stile. about a half an hour walk, its got all these stupid horror stories told about it. i say stupid, though in reality i have discovered most of them to be true, but those are other stories. i'd taken my male and female friends there on many occasions, but never all the female ones together at night time, mainly cos only Chloe is the only one with the courage and love of horror not to run away screaming. and also because i was partly scared myself, that i couldnt protect them all together at once. but that night i was angry, angry that my parents were too busy with their own tangled love lives to notice what i was going through, angry that my brother was too obsessed with having a drunken riot to do anything but stare at my too baggy clothes and red scars and mutter something slurred, angry that even when he was sober he wouldn't care, or if he did, he would just get mad and say i was being stupid and did i want him to call the doctor or tell mum? anger makes you foolish, makes you implusive. part of me wanted to get hurt this time, if only to get some attention. so when my mates finally did arrive i helped them dump their stuff in the hall, and then told them of my plan. Alex totally freaked out, it took ages to persuade her, but the other two readily agreed, especially Chloe who was really hyped up and made me go search my room for all my lucky pentagrams- "to give us strength, who knows what we might encounter!" she had cried excitedly. Alex also made me go get a flashlight and a knife- "there is no bloody way im going up there in the dark- and i want you to have a weapon." i'd found that funny.
"me?! don't YOU want it, you're the one thats scared!"
"so? anyway im as weak as hell, and there is no way im sticking around to fight anything, you blinkin' mad? god!" well, at least she knew it, she was the girly, oh save me one of us lot anyway, and she'd never watched a single horror movie without hiding her face in my arm. poor thing. so we set off. we marched down the street to the first field, through the grass and over the fence (alex ripping her pants, heh heh ;)). thats where things got a big tricky. rosie and guess who, thats right, alex, were both scared of cows so they had to leg it to the other side and over the gate of this field, while me and chloe ran backwards behind them, cackling like loons to scare any maneating cows away. After alot of getting stuck in mud, caught in fences and running from 'vicious vultures' (to nonparanoid people, crows)we finally reached the stile. the moon had risen, and i could switch off the flashlight. moonlight shone down on the swaying corn around us, and the silhouette of the first dead tree on the Hill was swathed in silver. somewhere in the blackness ahead an animal cried. i felt someone take my hand, and i turned, was just able to see the gloomy outline of Alex's pale face. she was frightened. it was then i felt the first pang of regret, and i should have turned back then. but chloe was on my other side, her eyes a sparkle of blue glee in the darkness, and rosie whispered, "god its freaky" but with a brave undercurrent in her words nonetheless. so i stiffened my resolve, gently disloged alex's grasp, and climbed over the stile, my heart in my throat as i stepped on the moss of the Haunted Hill. i kept my eyes on my friends as one by one they joined me, Chloe bringing up the rear. a few deep breaths, and a gaze around (in daylight you can see the most stunning views of the valley)and we climbed down a little, crawling over the rabbit holes and holding onto boulders, then started to creep along a muddy outcrop of rock, a little ridge, in single file, me first, then alex, chloe and rosie, all the time aware of the steep high drop of the hill below us, one slip and you would be rolling down to the sand bank, and after that was a long fall. within a few seconds of inching along the great hulking outline of the opposite hill blocked out the moon, and blackness decended once more. suddenly Alex grabbed me and we both nearly fell! i tore at the grass and managed to stay upright. "WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT?" I hissed and slowly swung round to grab her shoulders. but she was shaking and gasping and i let my hands drop in horror. "whats wrong?" i whispered.
"ive just seen someone behind rosie! we're being followed!" i heard rosie and chloe catch their breath, and she moaned, " like a grey figure, a shape of a man! what are we going to do?" i held up my hand and softly i hissed,"ssshhh! all of you! listen." We all paused, and slowly turned to stare behind us. silence. an endless stretch of blackness. i shook my head. "theres nothing there!" Alex grabbed me once more. "there WAS! honestly, there was!" then rosie said quietly, "you know, i think i saw it too." chloe nodded to prove she too, had seen it. ""holy sh*t." said i. it was plain to see they weren't lying. "look, lets just keep- SNAP SNAP SNAP! "HOLY SH*T! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD F**K!" "AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!"
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF F**K WAS THAT!"we screamed and screamed!! A twig to our left had snapped, then one to our right, and finally one ahead! we stood clutching each other, shaking and shivering, the black all around filled with menace! i broke apart from their grasps and started running, tearing at the thorns with my hands, ripping the flesh and bleeding. "come on!!" i heard crashes through the undergrowth behind me as my friends started running too, stumbling along in the blackness, tearing our way towards the tunnel of trees rising up like a black arch before us. inside lay deep shadow like the inside of a wolf's mouth- blacker than a cave, more deadly than imagination could create. and for the second time that god forsaken night, we were all deathly afraid, and a ripple of shivers passed through the icy thin air into each of of our bodies. another screech of an unknown animal filled the air and we twisted our necks as we ran, gazing up at the vast expanse of the sky dotted with stars frosty winds tearing at our lungs- and we crashed into the mini wood. all starlight went out, and the great green darkness of the leaf canopy hung just over our heads, the smell of fear thick in the air. "QUICK!" wheezed alex in a mutter, "TURN ON THE FLASHLIGHT!". chloe muttered behind her, "HURRY!" I stopped, fumbling with the buttons, causing alex to walk into me, chloe to bash into her and rosie to crash into all of us! i fell forward, cutting my cheek on the hawthorn trees walls on either side of us, squashing us in, and the flashlight fell to the ground with a heart stopping !CRACK!! "NO!" i cried aloud and suddenly the wood went silent as the grave, all i could hear was the ragged wheezing of alex and my mates' breathing. "you freak!" alex broke the silence with an angry whisper. "is it broken?" cried rosie in a undertone. gingerly i picked it up, and hit the on button. nothing.
"yes." behind me everyone groaned and the creaking of a tree made us jump. "we're just gonna have to find our way in the dark." rosie said softly. easier said than done, i thought, but we started walking again. faster this time. we continued in this way for a good ten minutes, jumping at every little noise, every little whistle of the wind, until i stopped. and looked around. and we were lost. "we're lost." i said. but nobody was listening. alex grabbed me once again. i turned. i looked behind. chloe stood, mouth open in shock. an owl hooted. rosie was gone.
************************************************** *****************
and i'll leave you there, dear reader, as i always like to leave a story on a cliffhanger. you can turn on your lights and stereo now. im sure you're glad to know i got the help i needed, i no longer cut myself, i sleep and i eat. but rosie, well one day i might tell you what happened to rosie.
one day.

*i will go down as your lover, your friend, give me your lips and with one kiss we begin*

deadblondebabe
01-01-2005, 03:41 PM
hey, could this be the day you tell us about rosie?
that was a really good tale,you should be an author.
please, please, please, please, please, please, please tell me what happened next!

Man should not fear death,but fear what comes before, during, and after.

schizoCuRsEgirl.erghh
01-02-2005, 06:03 AM
why THANKYOU, it wasnt that good! and i'm kinda an author already, ive had some stuff published. btw i was gonna TRY and help ya out with your freaky dream (my mother's a psychologist, mayb she could have helped)but luckly red hot saved ya! well, rosie. i'm afraid that today is not the day...but maybe tomorrow. if i dont die first.

"mum and dad they dont quite understand, why do girls want to pierce their nose and walk around in torn pantyhose?"

demonchild1804
01-03-2005, 02:51 PM
I want to know what happened!!!! I can't wait. Patience does not become me.

I'll cut you just to taste you more.

schizoCuRsEgirl.erghh
01-04-2005, 06:11 AM
awwwwwwwwwww. poor little demon. i pat you on your horned head. ok. rosie. here are you are...........

CONTINUED STORY....
we stood there. eyes wide, mouths open, for i dont know how long. it was truly the stuff of nightmares. the wind's breath was the only movement beyond and above us, the icy cold lifting up the hairs at the nape of our necks. "rosie?" i had the strength to whisper first. the bracken crackled beneath my feet. "rosie!" everyone joined in. our voices gentle tentacles of sound waving in the darkness. "this isnt funny, you know!" no answer. the trees stared back at us. alex shook herself. "i hate it. i hate this place. i wish i'd never come." for the second time that night, she seemed on the verge of tears. i wiped the blood off my torn cheek and hands and turned and started stomping through the wood, scuffing through the dead leaves, touching the trunks of the hawthorn trees. i wasnt happy. "wait up! wait up!" alex cried and tore after me, rushing through the tree tunnel, chloe hot on her heels and looking behind her. "you cant just leave her out here, theres too many side paths and forks in this stupid wood. she wont know how to find us!"
"shouldnt have run off then, should she? should have stayed close. shes trying to scare you. if shes got any sense she'll give up and catch up." yes. i was being cold. but like i said, im implusive and when frightened or lonely i spring to temper. i carried on walking. the leaves fell around me, swirling through the blackness. and then it wasnt black anymore. the moonlight shone down onto a grassy slope that lead up to the opposite hill, and it shone onto a muddy path beside that slope. and that path lead through a gate and out into a field. a field i knew only too well. "look! look, we're out!" alex shouted, and chloe leapt about. we walked out, drinking in the clear, sweet air, the moonlight on our tastebuds. rosie forgotten. for now. and as we entered that field, guess who was sat beside a little stream leading into another wood on our right. you got it. rosie.
and she couldnt remember a thing.[?]

"mum and dad they dont quite understand, why do girls want to pierce their nose and walk around in torn pantyhose?"

doria_twilight
01-08-2005, 06:38 PM
hm...pretty interesting story you have here though i'm not quite shure if i understand what happened to rosie.she didn't remember a thing?was that the effect of fear?interesting indeed and i kinda like your way of writhing.even though it's not a fictonal thing you shoud consider publishing something someday soon.really ,don't waste it!and about your family...i can see that you need their affection,why not try to ask for it.from what you tell me you have nothing to loose and u're a brave person so tell 'em what you want.i'm sayin these cos i used to have ssuch problems with mine but now everything ok.Be brave.My best wishes.

a mans death is a tragedy but a millions..that's just a statistic.

schizoCuRsEgirl.erghh
01-09-2005, 07:39 AM
thank you loads, doria, to be honest we never did find out what happened to rosie, all says she remembers is being behind us then the next minute beside the stream, we are still worry about her, espcially me. well, about the family thing, last night my mother had a screaming row with me about how thin i was so i guess thats an improvement, i think my brother told her what ive been doing. still, thank you lots. its nice to have an known person to confide in!

*"get the f**k up" he said, "your life is meaningless its going nowhere, your going nowhere, your just a f**k up" he said "i'll live alone instead, i know you dont care" i know i dont care*

doria_twilight
01-09-2005, 07:45 AM
it's better then but don't let your brother do all the work. you do it. and what was up with you? you said you were cutting yourself, why? why are or were so upset on life?

a mans death is a tragedy but a millions..that's just a statistic.

schizoCuRsEgirl.erghh
01-09-2005, 08:39 AM
true but im always gettin him outa girl truble when hes FOUR years older than me he does f**k all else so he might as well do this one thing for me...sorry, he can piss me off...
i cut myself because my parents always fight and half the time dont care about me, i cut because my brother is at university and i miss the freak, i cut because i hate being cooped up inside school with all the dumb "populars" ruling everything... i cut cos im sick of getting along with them when i just want to just punch them... i cut cos im sick of my grades failing, i cut cos im sick of all the guys who sexually assasult me and i dont know why i dont stop them or why they do it....i cut cos im sick of still being in love with my ex...yeah and i cut cos im sick of all the teachers who hate me.

*"get the f**k up" he said, "your life is meaningless its going nowhere, your going nowhere, your just a f**k up" he said "i'll live alone instead, i know you dont care" i know i dont care*

schizoCuRsEgirl.erghh
01-09-2005, 08:43 AM
oh and finally...im sick of my weak immune system which means i get ill really easily and have to have operations on my hearing and have to take loads of drugs for my asthma...at the moment ive just had another injection and ive got a chest infection so i cough cough cough all day and night and therefore sleep and eat even less....
sorry about all that you probs didnt wanna know! i'll cheer myself back up.

*"get the f**k up" he said, "your life is meaningless its going nowhere, your going nowhere, your just a f**k up" he said "i'll live alone instead, i know you dont care" i know i dont care*

doria_twilight
01-09-2005, 12:40 PM
i think you just need someone to tell you that everything will be ok and that your life is not ****ed up as you probably see it. we've all got problems but we don't cut ourselves just cos of that.come to think of it cutting is not apropriatte for any occasion.you should know this:you don't have the wors tproblems in the world.you must consider yourself lucky cos you have no idea how others are.firstly you shouldn't exagerate everythig. glue your legs to the floor and realize that cutting yourself is bull****.your parents do care about you, it's just that you are too angry on them and you can't see that.and missing your brother is really ok.there's no need of panic.the 'populars'in school shouldn't mean that much to you. you have your friends, you are popular amongst them, **** the rest.your grades,well, i've had a lot of problems with that too but i got out.study more.i'm not saying that you should become a geek or anything but studying is really a mood booster if you are able to get the matks up.believe me.i did it so most definetly you can too.beeing in love with your ex is again nothing new for me.i've been there, got out of it eventually.time heals evrything.you cannot jump from this to that.you have to walk calmly,if you understand what i mean.give it a rest.you'll forget him in time don't rush it.and finally your illness,try to concentrate on wanting to be healty not on 'god, i'm always gonna be like this'.i saw something very interesting on discovery channel. they said that you can do everythig with your mind.you can heal yourself, just needs a lot of practice.start doing it and quik.enjoy life, you're young don't waste it.grow strong.

a mans death is a tragedy but a millions..that's just a statistic.

schizoCuRsEgirl.erghh
01-10-2005, 09:01 AM
thankyou. im normally a very positive person but your post made all my negative energy flow out. i know all this, i know im a dumb ass for not sorting myself out, i just needed you to give me a good cyber slap and you have so i feel lots betta! i apperciate the tough love.
i bottle up all my sh*t...i needed to get it out. right. i danced in the rain last night and it really refreshed me..try it some time. thank you again. :-)

*sorry, im out of my mind at the moment, but please feel free to leave a message*

demonchild1804
01-12-2005, 11:40 AM
You should stop blaming everyone else for what you do to yourself. I've been cutting for 7 years and You have to realize that it is your problem, noone elses. I tried to blame everyone around me until I realized that I wouldn't accept the help they offered if they did try. My mother told me she would throw me out of the house if she saw cuts on me ever again. That didn't stop me. It's my fault that I cut. It's my addiction. You should think about why you really cut. If your parents tried to help, would you let them?

I'll cut you just to taste you more.

schizoCuRsEgirl.erghh
01-13-2005, 07:07 AM
they wouldnt. i tried to tell them. my father just looked away and told me not to tell lies. please, no more on this topic. i know i'm dumb, and i know you're even dumber for doing it for seven years but i'm okay now, i've got someone who helps me through, so please, no more. i just wanna forget now, but thank you very much for your opinon. i truly value it.

*from behind these walls i hear your song, oh sweet words
the music you play lights up my world
the sweetest that i've heard
could it be i've been touched and turned, oh lord please
finally, finally things are changing*

evillilbabe81450
01-13-2005, 08:50 PM
one time me and my friend(deadblonbabe)were down im my basement just hanging out to see if it was haunted. That time we were down there was the first time we heard the boiler turn on. When it came on we screamed and ran up stairs and got the neighbors cause we were friends with them. We told we thought our house was on fire and here we r standing on the porch not calling the fire company. We were the only ones home and then our mom's got home and we told them and they said it was probaly the boiler that turns on when the heat does and I felt like a true blonde. I still do think that basement and boiler is really haunted cause of all the pheranormal activity that happens. It is scary sometimes.

If you're gonna make a mistake, make it a big one.

evillilbabe81450
01-15-2005, 02:23 PM
i am defenetly a true blonded blonde atleast that wat other people say. Everyone always calls me stupid and i hate man.

If you're gonna make a mistake, make it a big one.

schizoCuRsEgirl.erghh
01-16-2005, 09:45 AM
yeah. men are all sex sex sex............................................... .................
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ....................................

*from behind these walls i hear your song, oh sweet words
the music you play lights up my world
the sweetest that i've heard
could it be i've been touched and turned, oh lord please
finally, finally things are changing*

evillilbabe81450
01-16-2005, 04:40 PM
yup

If you're gonna make a mistake, make it a big one.

schizoCuRsEgirl.erghh
01-17-2005, 10:40 AM
after all, just cos they smell like apes dont mean they are tarzan.

*from behind these walls i hear your song, oh sweet words
the music you play lights up my world
the sweetest that i've heard
could it be i've been touched and turned, oh lord please
finally, finally things are changing*

evillilbabe81450
01-17-2005, 06:53 PM
lol ur right

If you're gonna make a mistake, make it a big one.